I'm Trying, Really I Am...

Writing these past couple of days hasn't been particularly smooth for me. I just can't seem to do it. And what's worse is that I don't think the usual "hump" is the cause.

I think I'm second guessing myself to death. Is the story right? Are the characters being portrayed correctly and well? Am I covering everything I need to cover?

And I know that I need to just do it and then worry about all of that, but I can't seem to stop!

What do I do? How do you deal with feeling unsure of your own writing?


April
PS I just had to laugh because I just realized Coldplay's Scientist is playing on my itunes. And for those who aren't familiar, the chorus is... Nobody said it was easy... No one ever said it would be this hard. How perfect.

Edited to Add: Tommorrow is the launch of the Pink Heart Society Blog. So you should stop by and say hello!

Visit Me...

Over at Word Flirts today... :-)

April

New Digs...

What did I do today? A lot of editing? No. A bunch of writing? No.

I was sitting on the couch writing while hubby watched ESPN. Then, he turned it to Pirates of The Caribbean. And what was I to do?

I couldn't concentrate on being in another person's head when Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom are swash buckling across my TV. Not possible. So I decided I would toy with my blog template.

Three hours later, I have what you see here. My goal was to match my website. We'll see how long I'm happy with it.

What did you do this weekend? Any writing?

April

Writing Like A Nut...

I'm still in the beginning, so things are going very smooth for me and I'm writing like crazy. Well, crazy for me.

And this of course makes me very happy. The danger is coming though. It's the "hump". That's what I call chapters 3 & 4. Because that's what they are for me. A hump. One I seem to srtuggle to get over every time.

Since I'm trying a new approach, an outline-but not in grave detail, I have no idea if the hump will be as bad or not. Let's hope not.

In the meantime, I've already started bugging my hubby by listening to Christmas music. The listening doesn't bother him so much. I use headphones with my itunes while I write. I think it's the off-key singing along that really gets him. Guess he shouldn't turn the football classics he's been watching all week in preparation for the beginning of college football next week, up so loud and I wouldn't have to compensate. ;-)

So here's what I want to know... Do you have a "hump" you traditionally experience in your writing process? And how do you get over it?

April

And It's Off...

My requested partial is officially off in the mail, winging it's way across the Atlantic. I have the hardest blooming time at the post office. I always forget stuff. I even make a list of what to do so I won't forget and still I forget!

This time, I forgot to write "Requested Material" on the envelope. Which since it says as much on the cover letter, I'm hoping isn't that big of a deal.

Speaking of envelopes, I discovered today, that something I thought was well known, may not be so well known. So I thought I would share. The post office provides these great envelopes for FREE. They're tyvek. I learned about them when an agent requested a partial and I sent it in and when she requested the full, she told me to put it in a tyvek envelope provided by the post office. They're made of this waxy material and nearly indestructible. There are domestic and global envelopes.

Not only are they free, but you can order a big bunch sent to you at home, for FREE! You just go to www.usps.com and then navigate your way through the maze till you find them and click order.

Thank goodness I've got my next project under way, because otherwise I'd be sitting here biting my nails. Crikes.

So now I have two questions... One feeds into my insecurity. Is it a big deal that my sub sent to Richmond doesn't have "requested material" on it? And, what's the best way you've found to make the wait easier?

April

Printers, Spoolers, & Heads Oh My...

This post was supposed to be about waving bye bye to my submissions. The ones I had requested at nationals. But instead, it's about printer issues.

You see, yesterday afternoon I finally got time to print out my stuff to package up so I could drop by the post office on my way home. I had tooled away all day, printing out reports and info and stuff. So I opened my little folders and hit print. And my printer shot out page after page of blank paper. Yes, I said blank.

Now this is not the new printer at home... the one whose scanner still isn't working with my computer even after I paid an extra $150 to a computer tech to get the print function to work with my computer. Nope this is the slightly older model we have at my office which up until now has worked great and was the reason we got the newer version for home.

After spending twenty minutes with a tech on the phone, I was told it's a physical problem with the head or the little plate the ink goes out of. The only solution is to take it in for service. Or of course, they'd give me a great deal on a new printer. Not.

This means mailing the subs will have to wait till Monday. And I'm just one step away from a very public post in which I warn everyone about the folly of purchasing a specific printer brand. Speaking of which... As I'm sitting at home last night complaining about the printer issues, hubby says, "Yeah, I wasn't going to get it. I had two of those before and neither ever worked right."

And I just looked at him for a moment before asking, "Then why in the world did you buy that one for home?"

He looked puzzled for a moment before he said, "Oh, I did, didn't I. Well, you liked the one at work..."

Am I the only one with printer problems? Do any of you have a printer you L-O-V-E?

Oh yeah... And here's my reward for my frustration. A little "research"



Have a great weekend!


April

Today...

Today's post is at Word Flirts.

Before and After...

Funny things happen when you get married. I mean Matt and I dated for eleven and a half years and still, funny things happened when we got married. The "funniest" was my amazing Willy Wonka Ever Expanding Behind! Really, it's amazing!

I hadn't realized how amazing until today. I have a pair of friends who share a house nearby. In fact it's right at a half mile from mine. So I walk there and back and viola, I've walked a mile. Apparently, I need to learn to run marathons.

One of those sweet friends... Beth. Yes, I'm naming you. Got a little camera happy when I stopped by yesterday. And then decided to email me the pictures of myself this morning.

And I was in total shock. I mean I have never been "skinny" but I used to be comfortable with my body. And I know I've gained a lot of weight since getting married. My doctor ran every type of test imaginable when I went for my yearly examine. And when they all came back okay... Well, except for my cholesterol, he sat me down and had a heart to heart.

Even then I hadn't grasped exactly how much weight I'd gained.

Here's the before:


And here's the after(thanks, Beth):
(I'm on the right. Susan, Beth's twin sister is on the left)


There were other pictures, but this was the least painful to see. Notice it's not a full body shot...

Not exactly the way before and after shots should go. For those hung up on numbers, there's about a 40 pound difference in the two pictures!

All kidding aside, I owe Beth because she gave me a really big push with that email. I've exercised twice today and recommitted myself to healthy eating. I had been overweight and lost 50 pounds at one time. Looks like I'll have to do it again. But hey, at least I know I can since I did it once, right? Let's hope...

So to those of you unmarried out there, if you choose to take that walk down the isle, remember to not let the walking stop there. And let's hope that by this time next year, the before and after shots go the opposite direction!

April :-)

Getting Clear...

I spent last week getting clear. I milled over what I learned at nationals and what Sheila Hodgson had said to me about my story. At times I even agonized.

But I decided to give myself some time to get clear on things and to figure out what I needed to do to get my submission in shape to send off.

Late in the week, a kernel of an idea came to me. Then, last night I went to an event with hubby and my best friend and her hubby. It was called "Brew at the Zoo" and it was a load of fun.

It was a beer tasting event at our zoo. They had brew houses from all over there. When we went to the Budweiser building they were playing the Real Me of Genius commercials over and over and over, back to back and I thought of Julie S who once blogged about her fondness for those commercials.

We made our way around all of the tents, with our little sampling glasses. Then, through the thick tropical foliage of the African Safari camp, came the bright lights of the microbrews. And boy were there a lot of them. And boy did we sample.

Along about the twelfth sample, we used small sampling glasses, mind you, it came to me. The solution to the crux of the problem with my story. And I considered jumping up and down and shouting hooray! But then I realized I needed at least twelve more samples to do that and I was too lazy to stand in line anymore. We were hot and the humidity was near 100% thanks to an earlier storm.

So we came home and I slept on my idea and woke up and low and behold, the idea still had grand merit. So I emailed it my cp who thought it was a grand idea!

Now that I'm clear on what I need to do, I just need to do it. Argh. I knew there was a down side too all this revelation!

I found clarification while downing a tablespoon of Shiner Blonde. I know this isn't unique to me. So what about you? When and where have you found clarification on a story you were working on? Any special tricks for getting it to come along faster?

April

Reevaluating...

Since my trip to Atlanta, I've done a lot of thinking. It would seem that the chaos of my mind is finally settling.

I learned so much. I think a recurring theme throughout the entire conference was not to permit ourselves to be bound by "rules". And another theme was that we need to really write. I mean I'm certainly not going to get published if I don't write.

So I've made some decisions. And one, very important one is that I have to stop spending so much time procrastinating. You know... all that "research" I do with pictures. It doesn't mean I have to stop it all together. It just means I need to cut back on it.

With that in mind, I've decided to limit my April's Space blogging to two posts per week. And I'm limiting my visits to other blogs to once or twice a week. This is much easier said than done. Daily rounds of my fellow blogger's blogs has become routine for me. So I am hoping I won't suffer too much withdrawal. The fact that it's just a cutback and not a complete stop helps a lot.

And never fear, I promise to keep posting... research pics. I mean, I can't do without those. :-)

So if I'm not around as often in the upcoming weeks, don't worry. I'm still here and I'm still visiting. I'm just chewing my fingernails to nubs between visits. ;-).

What about you? Do you find yourself spending too much time surfing or "visiting" other blogs, or do you manage your time better?

April

Today's Post...

Is at Wordflirts...

April