Thursday, August 25, 2005


I had a discussion with a good friend, today, about what flirting is. A lot of people think that they don't know how to flirt, but I say that is phoey. I think that there is overt flirting, which is when someone tries to be really obvious about it and then there is covert flirting. When someone is covert, they often won't even realize they are flirting.

Afterall, what is flirting? It's showing someone you like, that you are intereseted in them. So, anything you do or say that indicates an interest, could be considered flirting.

For example, If you get really discombobulated when a certain someone is around and then you tell them, "I don't know why I'm being so clumsy," (or whatever) then you are indicating to this person that you care what they think and although you nor they may realize it conciously, it stands to reason that if you care what they think, then you like them, or are interested in them. Since you are coveying that message, no matter how blatant, this would mean that you are flirting.

Now there are obvious exceptions. Everyone cares whether their boss thinks they are clumsy, but that doesn't mean they're flirting.

Covert flirting is less direct, so the signals aren't always picked up on conciously. But, it's my belief that they are picked up on. Even if your subconcious is the only thing realizing what is going on.

So, don't automatically assume you don't know how to flirt. Some people are just less capable of being contrived, which is often a requirement of overt flirting, so they flirt more covertly. Neither one is better than the other because some people appreciate the blatant nature of overt flirting, while some appreciate the honest and innocent nature of covert flirting.

So, go forth and flirt!


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