Monday, October 24, 2005

It's Not Asthma, It's Bacteria...

That's what my doctor said, at least. As a child, I was diagnosed with acute asthma. Which meant I was the kid who always carried a bright yellow and orange inhaler with her everywhere she went. Yeah, that was me you used to tease...

I stopped seeing my pediatrician just about 2 years ago. No, I'm not 20. I just kept seeing my pediatrician until his head nurse wouldn't let me anymore. He's a friend of the family. I digress... I haven't had any asthma problems for a few years now, so I didn't bother to mention anything to my new "adult" doctor because I figured I'd outgrown it. Which means my inhalers and prescriptions for new ones all are expired. Really expired.

Then, last week I started having problems breathing. And I thought, "F%&*ing A. It's asthma again." Sort of the way they used to say, "It's the penguin again, Batman!" in the old Batman tv show. Boy, I loved that show.

I digress again... So, I went to my MD today and he poked me for my DNA and made me huff and puff into half a million gadgets. Then he came into my little 4x6 room, with his cape flying, a big "K" on his shirt (his name is Keith--for some reason, even though I'm not sick much, I'm on a first name basis with my doctors and dentist. Even the OBGYN) and triumphantly announced that it wasn't my asthma, it was "bacteria."

Yup! I have ooey, gooey bacteria in my lungs and it is menacingly trying to prevent me from breathing. So he gave me some antibiotic pills--which are approximately 2"x2" in size. Well, almost. And told me to take two a day for a week and then give him a ring if I didn't feel like tap dancing. I asked if he could give me a big spot light to point into the air as a signal for him instead. He shook his head regretfully and said it got broken when the parking garage was built. Darn it.

So, I'm pill popping and finishing off my revisions. I finally got to the revision suggestions my cp made. May I say, my cp is awesome! And smart to boot. How did that happen? I won the cp lottery. Don't tell anyone though. I don't want her to get stolen away from me. What's even better though, is that she's going to be famous one day and I'm going to get an autograph. So, take that "bacteria..."

On that note, I'm off! (why did "to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz..." song pop in my head?"


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